There's a guy here at work who drives me crazy! Was this guy raised by a troop of parapelligic mimes?
He'll shuffle his way over to my desk with some kind of query. I'll answer his questions as best I can, but once he's gotten what he needs out of me, he'll just starting yakking on and on about what he's going to do next.
Now that's not the part I hate. The part I hate is that he'll start talking while I'm still speaking. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and then he'll start to speak over me. Which means I have to stop speaking or try to speak at the same time as him.
Mama Wells always taught me to not speak when others are speaking, not to interupt. So my natural reaction is to stop speaking, but it pisses me off! When this guy cuts me off like this, it tells me that he's not really listening to me.
Sometimes it sticks in my craw... Sometimes I'll just keep going, speaking over him as he's trying to speak over me. But he doesn't give in! He'll just keep going as if I'm not saying anything. So eventually, I have to give in, mainly because I can't even hear myself speaking over his brain-barfing.
So I've just come to realize that this guy is in love with his own voice. He loves to hear himself talk about how he's so brilliant and so ingenious and the questions he puts to me are really just excuses to hear himself expound upon his own cleverness.
My only question is... what do I do about it? Maybe I could get a roll of sticky tape, rig it to a bionic arm, put a big red button on my desk, and have the thing sweep around and tape his mouth shut.
Yeah... that'd be a useful application of scientific knowledge and it would lower noise pollution. Really... I'm only thinking of the benefits to mankind.
Really... I am.
Dr. Rudy [7:50 AM]
Argh... I've been spending so much time in the lab at work and at home, I haven't had time to post much on the blog. But don't worry... Rudy the scientist is still alive and kicking!
My brain's been going into overdrive trying to figure out the whole "Oscar swims" thing. I've got a working theory, but I need to do a bit more research first. I'll post my thoughts on that soon.
Gotta scoot! My Kraft dinner is ready and it's back to the lab for me. I don't know what the OSI has got cooking nowadays, but it seems fairly urgent. Again with the Urgent stuff. Why can't the World Evil take it's sweet old time in conquering the planet?
Dr. Rudy [2:16 PM]
I've actually been a bit worried about posting to my blog this week. So much weird stuff going on! But to hell with that... I'm not going to live in fear! Not me... Dr. Rudy Wells-- Bionic Superstar!
A sense of humour is always necessary to cope with stressful times. That's one thing the 70's taught me and taught me well!
So I was out perusing the treasures at the local flea market when I spotted someone I thought I knew in the crowd. I would spot him for a second and then lose him in the crowd. He was too far away to make out details, but he seemed to be eyeing me up as well. Did he think he recognzied me too?
As I was leaving the flea market, I felt someone standing behind me suddenly, but before I could react, I heard someone whisper "Oscar knows. Oscar sees. Oscar swims." I swung around, but there was no one in sight and a slight breeze seem to kick up. What the hell did that mean, "Oscar swims"?
I'm getting too old for this. If someone is trying to get my attention, why don't they just send me a Hallmark card like everyone else?
Dr. Rudy [10:20 AM]
All during this weekend, there's been a black van parked across from my house. I've been in this business long enough to know when I'm being watched, being staked-out. The question is who and better yet, why?
On Saturday night, I cobbled together a tiny remote-controlled car (about the size of my thumb) with some heat-audio-electronic sensing equipment on it. Sitting up in my bedroom with a monitor at my feet, I did some recon. As soon as I got close enough to do my first scan of the van, the electric nodes spiked in the van, the wheels screeched, and the van took off careening down the street.
Way to be subtle, narcs.
I almost got the remote back, but the neighbor's hound mistook it for a chew toy and gobbled it down. It was only when I looked out through the window that I realized what was going on. I nearly jumped through the ceiling when I saw that gaping mouth in the monitor. Sheesh.
Time to dip some nanites in the hound's chow, methinks.
In the meantime, I need to figure out what's going on. Who's watching me and is it related to Oscar calling me a couple of weeks ago?
Dr. Rudy [12:01 PM]
Found the phone... Those burglar wankers hid it under the chesterfield. Is that sick or what? Trash my apartment, don't take anything, but hide the phone. What's up with that?!?
And yes, the burglars hadn't stolen anything (as far as I can tell). I finally cleaned everything up and put everything in its proper place. I even managed to toss a few things as well! In the end, it just forced me to clean house and get rid of a few old things. If I ever find out who did this, maybe I'll have them come by every 2 years or so and do it again.
Ha! I slay me.
So I finally called Oscar, but the weird thing is that the phone number he gave me was out-of-service. Did he give me the wrong number? I tried calling his old phone number, but of course, it's 20 years old and also out-of-service. Now I don't know how to reach him. A whole week of procrastination guilt and now I can't get through! Drat.
Maybe he'll call back... Nothing I can do now but wait. And finish tweaking my latest home project: The Bionic Kraft Dinner Maker.
Ha! Just kidding... I slay me!
Dr. Rudy [4:34 PM]
I couldn't post to my blog yesterday 'cause someone ransacked my house! The place is an absolute mess! Books, papers, punch cards, tongs, cat food... everything! Everything is spread out rather evenly everywhere! Crap!
I called the police immediately and they snooped around, asking questions. They had a few pointed inquiries on the various mechanical doodads in my home lab, but I was able to fend them off with waving my National Security and State Secret flags. I gotta stop taking work home with me.
Whoever did this, they were quick about it. I went out for my morning jog and when I got home about 2 hours later, I discovered this disaster zone. I've just started going through the mess and trying to figure out if the vandals took anything. So far, everything seems to still be here. Weird.
I wonder if this has anything to do with Oscar's call from a few days ago. I wonder if I'm getttin paranoid in my old age.
I swear I'll call him back this week... as soon as I find my telephone again, that is.
Dr. Rudy [7:52 AM]
I spent the weekend tidying up my apartment and laboratory. Just filing the papers alone takes me hours! If I didn't take some time on the weekends to put some order in things, I'd be up to my bunsen burners in notes, punch cards, and junk mail!
To make the best use of my time, I modified one of my older bionic projects into a Laundry Sorter. I replaced the laser eye with a color-sensitive detector that divides the clothes into piles of lights, darks, and bright colors. I can't tell you how many of my unmentionables got torn to shreds until I figured out the propering tweaking to apply to the titanium mandibles that reached and sorted the articles of clothes.
Some things can be calculated. The rest needs to be tweaked and tried. That's just the way it is.
I still haven't returned Oscar's call. I'm actually kind of dreading it. Sure, sure... he could just be in town and wants to go for a drink like a couple of old farts, but there was something in his voice. I'm getting to old for all these blasted urgencies, honestly. I get more pleasure from tweaking my household projects than constantly having to pull some bionic doo-dad from my butt that's supposed to save the World from some yahoo with too much time on his hands and designs of World Domination.
Dammit... I'd better call him back. Sometime. Soon.
Dr. Rudy [9:48 AM]
The further adventures of Dr. Rudy Wells, the scientific brainchild behind the wonders of Bionics (and the Six Million Dollar man).
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